1
00:00:00,957 --> 00:00:02,867
♪♪

2
00:01:10,026 --> 00:01:12,376
[Jacqueline]
There was great joy at Convent San Tanco

3
00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:15,950
that lovely spring day
in April.

4
00:01:16,119 --> 00:01:17,339
Sister Jacqueline,

5
00:01:17,512 --> 00:01:19,512
Sister Sixto,
Sister Bertrille!

6
00:01:19,688 --> 00:01:23,608
Come here, Sisters, quickly.
I have something to show you.

7
00:01:23,779 --> 00:01:27,649
The reason for our happiness
was a check for 5000 dollars

8
00:01:27,826 --> 00:01:29,696
donated to Convent San Tanco

9
00:01:29,872 --> 00:01:32,402
by a certain
señor Juan Hernando.

10
00:01:32,570 --> 00:01:34,880
The figures swam
before my eyes.

11
00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:37,451
So many lovely zeros.

12
00:01:37,619 --> 00:01:40,879
As our spirits soared over
this unexpected windfall,

13
00:01:41,057 --> 00:01:43,187
Sister Bertrille
just soared.

14
00:01:53,722 --> 00:01:56,252
Come down, Sister.
Come down!

15
00:01:56,420 --> 00:01:58,420
Reverend Mother
wants to talk to us.

16
00:01:58,596 --> 00:01:59,986
About the big banana.

17
00:02:00,163 --> 00:02:01,643
Bonanza, Sister.
Bonanza.

18
00:02:01,817 --> 00:02:03,647
Oh, we're going to
watch television?

19
00:02:03,819 --> 00:02:05,129
She's going
to open up the jar

20
00:02:05,299 --> 00:02:06,819
of homemade
brandied peaches

21
00:02:06,996 --> 00:02:08,776
she's been saving
to celebrate.

22
00:02:08,954 --> 00:02:12,094
Sister Bertrille
may be aerodynamically sound,

23
00:02:12,262 --> 00:02:13,792
but like any airliner,

24
00:02:13,959 --> 00:02:15,659
she is occasionally
at the mercy

25
00:02:15,831 --> 00:02:17,401
of that old devil, wind.

26
00:02:18,747 --> 00:02:20,267
[crashing]

27
00:02:22,838 --> 00:02:24,058
Get a ladder, Sister.

28
00:02:24,231 --> 00:02:25,581
Wait there.
Don't go away.

29
00:02:29,888 --> 00:02:31,108
[fabric ripping]

30
00:02:31,281 --> 00:02:32,541
Sister Sixto, hurry.

31
00:02:35,503 --> 00:02:36,683
Going my way?

32
00:02:43,075 --> 00:02:44,985
♪♪

33
00:02:52,607 --> 00:02:54,087
[all laughing]

34
00:02:54,261 --> 00:02:55,701
Oh, I just love
brandied peaches.

35
00:02:55,871 --> 00:02:57,791
I thought only cattle
is brandied?

36
00:02:59,266 --> 00:03:01,306
A toast
to señorHernando.

37
00:03:01,485 --> 00:03:03,305
[all] Here!
Here!

38
00:03:03,487 --> 00:03:05,787
I think we've all
had one peach too many.

39
00:03:07,012 --> 00:03:08,492
You still haven't told us

40
00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:10,016
who señorHernando is.

41
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,670
I still don't know
who he is.

42
00:03:11,843 --> 00:03:13,323
Our Convent records show

43
00:03:13,497 --> 00:03:14,717
that a boy by that name

44
00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:16,720
was raised here
in the orphanage.

45
00:03:16,892 --> 00:03:18,372
That was before my time.

46
00:03:18,546 --> 00:03:20,456
When he was 17,
he left the Convent

47
00:03:20,635 --> 00:03:21,675
to seek his fortune.

48
00:03:21,853 --> 00:03:23,123
[Sixto] He sure did.

49
00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:25,640
5000 dollars
is not grass, you know?

50
00:03:25,814 --> 00:03:27,164
Hay, Sister.

51
00:03:27,337 --> 00:03:28,637
That's what I say.
Hey, Sister,

52
00:03:28,817 --> 00:03:30,467
what are we gonna do
with that money?

53
00:03:30,645 --> 00:03:32,555
How about a new stove?

54
00:03:32,734 --> 00:03:35,134
Buy new cushions for
the prayer benches. Soft ones.

55
00:03:35,302 --> 00:03:37,912
Oh, yes. That means there'll be
a lot more praying done.

56
00:03:38,087 --> 00:03:39,387
Build a new playground.

57
00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:41,177
Oh, and buy
a new station wagon.

58
00:03:41,351 --> 00:03:42,701
Mmm. Mmm.

59
00:03:42,874 --> 00:03:44,664
A television set. Color.

60
00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:46,233
Don't forget
the remote control.

61
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,400
Sisters.
Sisters, I promise

62
00:03:48,576 --> 00:03:51,316
that I will take all of your
suggestions under advisement.

63
00:03:51,492 --> 00:03:54,152
In the meantime, I think
it would be a good idea

64
00:03:54,321 --> 00:03:56,891
if you, Sister Jacqueline,
or Sister Bertrille,

65
00:03:57,062 --> 00:03:58,892
drive into town
and deposit the check.

66
00:03:59,064 --> 00:04:00,684
Why don't we both go?

67
00:04:00,849 --> 00:04:03,329
Sister Jacqueline could drive,
and I could ride shotgun.

68
00:04:04,679 --> 00:04:06,199
You think the old heap
will start?

69
00:04:06,376 --> 00:04:08,596
We haven't got much time
before the bank closes.

70
00:04:08,770 --> 00:04:11,290
I hope so. I'd be worried
carrying this till Monday.

71
00:04:11,468 --> 00:04:13,248
Where did you put it?
My pocket.

72
00:04:13,427 --> 00:04:15,207
Do you think
that's a safe place for it?

73
00:04:15,385 --> 00:04:17,385
Did you ever hear
of anyone losing a pocket?

74
00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:19,690
On the other hand,
there's always a first time.

75
00:04:19,868 --> 00:04:22,258
[wind blowing]

76
00:04:22,436 --> 00:04:24,306
[all exclaiming]

77
00:04:29,921 --> 00:04:31,791
[all chattering]

78
00:04:37,842 --> 00:04:40,502
I've heard of a check bouncing,
but this is ridiculous.

79
00:04:40,671 --> 00:04:43,111
Sister Bertrille,
prepare for takeoff.

80
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,723
Roger and out.

81
00:04:52,422 --> 00:04:54,252
That a boy.

82
00:04:56,383 --> 00:04:58,563
Come on, give it here now.

83
00:05:00,343 --> 00:05:03,353
Well, you can't even cash it.
It isn't endorsed.

84
00:05:05,696 --> 00:05:08,566
Come back here,
you embezzler!

85
00:05:40,427 --> 00:05:42,947
Drop that check.
You understand?

86
00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:47,215
Drop that check
this very instant.

87
00:05:47,390 --> 00:05:48,910
Oh, no.

88
00:05:51,089 --> 00:05:52,349
Now he listens to me.

89
00:06:08,759 --> 00:06:11,459
Excuse me, ma'am.
Excuse me. I got it.

90
00:06:11,632 --> 00:06:13,162
Oh, I got it.

91
00:06:13,329 --> 00:06:15,199
It's only scorched
a little bit down here

92
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,375
where the signature is...
Was.

93
00:06:18,726 --> 00:06:20,026
Now what are we gonna do?

94
00:06:20,205 --> 00:06:21,945
How about crying?

95
00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:23,030
Oh...

96
00:06:24,906 --> 00:06:27,036
Oh, excuse us.

97
00:06:28,475 --> 00:06:30,215
Enjoy your dinner.

98
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:31,870
Goodbye.

99
00:06:35,264 --> 00:06:38,184
[Jacqueline] And there was no address
or phone number on his note?

100
00:06:38,354 --> 00:06:39,754
Unfortunately, no.

101
00:06:39,921 --> 00:06:41,921
We could call the bank.
They're sure to know

102
00:06:42,097 --> 00:06:44,057
who Juan Hernando is.
[Reverend Mother] Yes, we can.

103
00:06:44,229 --> 00:06:45,879
When it opens on Monday.

104
00:06:46,057 --> 00:06:48,147
Oh. For all we know,
Juan Hernando

105
00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:50,240
might leave this island
over the weekend.

106
00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:52,279
A man as rich as he is
could go away

107
00:06:52,455 --> 00:06:53,845
and not come back
for months.

108
00:06:54,022 --> 00:06:56,112
Sisters, you're all missing
the important point.

109
00:06:56,284 --> 00:06:58,594
I don't think you should let
a whole weekend go by

110
00:06:58,766 --> 00:07:00,066
without thanking
señorHernando

111
00:07:00,245 --> 00:07:02,155
for his generosity,
it's not polite.

112
00:07:02,334 --> 00:07:04,734
[Reverend Mother] A very excellent suggestion,
Sister Bertrille.

113
00:07:04,902 --> 00:07:06,692
But how do you propose
we implement it?

114
00:07:09,341 --> 00:07:11,951
Reverend Mother, may I
borrow your telephone book?

115
00:07:20,004 --> 00:07:21,834
Here's his name.

116
00:07:22,006 --> 00:07:24,306
And here. And here. And here.

117
00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:25,707
It seems Juan Hernando

118
00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:27,360
is the John Smith
of Puerto Rico.

119
00:07:27,534 --> 00:07:30,194
Well, there's only
one thing to do.

120
00:07:34,018 --> 00:07:37,148
With a little bit of luck,
and a lot of patience,

121
00:07:37,326 --> 00:07:38,676
we just might find him.

122
00:07:38,849 --> 00:07:40,759
[phone dialing]

123
00:07:40,938 --> 00:07:43,198
Hello?
This is Sister Bertrille

124
00:07:43,375 --> 00:07:45,155
of the Convent San Tanco.

125
00:07:45,334 --> 00:07:48,164
I-I'm looking for
Juan Hernando.

126
00:07:48,337 --> 00:07:49,857
Oh.

127
00:07:50,034 --> 00:07:52,044
Uh-huh.

128
00:07:52,210 --> 00:07:55,520
Well, thank you very much,
Mrs. Hernando.

129
00:07:55,692 --> 00:07:58,782
She's looking for him, too.
Has been for ten years.

130
00:07:58,956 --> 00:08:01,916
May I suggest a more
scientific approach,

131
00:08:02,090 --> 00:08:05,090
such as starting at the top
and working your way down?

132
00:08:05,267 --> 00:08:07,787
Oh, good idea.
Why didn't I think of it?

133
00:08:07,965 --> 00:08:10,395
Keep your fingers crossed,
girls.

134
00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:15,320
Uh. Hello?
This is Sister Bertrille

135
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,965
of the Convent San Tanco.

136
00:08:17,148 --> 00:08:20,058
May I please speak
with señorJuan Hernando?

137
00:08:20,238 --> 00:08:23,198
Oh.
When will he be out?

138
00:08:23,372 --> 00:08:24,372
Five years?

139
00:08:26,157 --> 00:08:28,897
Cheer up. Maybe he'll get
time off for good behavior.

140
00:08:39,344 --> 00:08:41,264
[ringing]

141
00:08:43,174 --> 00:08:44,834
Hello.

142
00:08:45,002 --> 00:08:46,922
Yes, yes,
this is Juan Hernando.

143
00:08:47,091 --> 00:08:49,571
Uh, this is Sister Bertrille
of the Convent San Tanco.

144
00:08:49,746 --> 00:08:51,706
Yes, Sister.
What can I do for you?

145
00:08:51,879 --> 00:08:53,789
Well, first
I wanna make sure

146
00:08:53,968 --> 00:08:55,668
you're
the real señorHernando.

147
00:08:55,839 --> 00:08:58,059
Yes.
I am the real señorHernando.

148
00:08:58,233 --> 00:08:59,713
The orphan?

149
00:08:59,887 --> 00:09:01,367
Yes, you could say that.
Mmm-hmm.

150
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,851
And, and you were
raised by the Sisters?

151
00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:08,113
Yes, you could say that also.

152
00:09:09,723 --> 00:09:10,943
He's an orphan.

153
00:09:11,115 --> 00:09:12,415
He's the real Juan Hernando.

154
00:09:12,595 --> 00:09:14,205
I found him.
I found him.

155
00:09:15,816 --> 00:09:18,466
Yes. Yes, Sister,
I am still here,

156
00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:21,775
but I am very, very busy.
Perhaps you could...

157
00:09:21,952 --> 00:09:23,172
What are you doing?

158
00:09:23,345 --> 00:09:24,905
I am taking this typewriter.

159
00:09:25,086 --> 00:09:26,516
You can't do that.

160
00:09:26,696 --> 00:09:28,996
Do you have the money
you still owe on it?

161
00:09:29,177 --> 00:09:30,477
No, but...

162
00:09:30,657 --> 00:09:33,827
Then I'm taking
this typewriter.

163
00:09:34,008 --> 00:09:36,358
Yes, Sister, yes, I am,
I am still on the line.

164
00:09:36,532 --> 00:09:39,062
Perhaps you could tell me
what is on your mind quickly.

165
00:09:39,230 --> 00:09:40,930
I'm calling
about the donation.

166
00:09:41,102 --> 00:09:43,232
Sit.

167
00:09:43,408 --> 00:09:46,588
Yes, Sister, you were saying
something about a-a donation?

168
00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:48,330
Yes.
The 5000 dollar check.

169
00:09:50,459 --> 00:09:52,109
Tell him we'll
bring it right over.

170
00:09:52,287 --> 00:09:53,417
Yes, if it's all right,

171
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,033
we'd like to bring it
right over?

172
00:09:55,203 --> 00:09:56,993
Sister, let me
try to understand

173
00:09:57,161 --> 00:09:58,551
what it is you are saying.

174
00:09:58,728 --> 00:10:01,818
You are saying,
if it is all right with me,

175
00:10:01,992 --> 00:10:05,342
you are going to bring
the check for 5000 dollars?

176
00:10:06,867 --> 00:10:08,297
Yes.

177
00:10:08,477 --> 00:10:11,087
Of course it is
all right with me.

178
00:10:11,262 --> 00:10:13,872
A miracle, a miracle.

179
00:10:14,048 --> 00:10:16,568
SeñorHernando, I'd like to
explain what happened.

180
00:10:16,746 --> 00:10:19,616
Never mind. Tell me when you
get here, the sooner the better.

181
00:10:19,793 --> 00:10:21,193
Do you know
where San Rafael is?

182
00:10:21,359 --> 00:10:22,319
I'll find it.

183
00:10:22,491 --> 00:10:24,541
It is just outside of San Juan.

184
00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:27,801
A little town of 3500 souls

185
00:10:27,975 --> 00:10:30,275
and 260 donkeys.
How far away are you?

186
00:10:30,455 --> 00:10:32,885
Oh, about ten miles
as the crow flies.

187
00:10:33,067 --> 00:10:34,977
I'm talking
about decent crow.

188
00:10:36,505 --> 00:10:38,325
Now, listen to me
very carefully, Sister.

189
00:10:38,507 --> 00:10:41,377
I have a very important meeting
at my campaign headquarters

190
00:10:41,553 --> 00:10:43,953
at the corner of Alvarez
and Montenegro Streets.

191
00:10:44,121 --> 00:10:46,821
You will meet me there
and bring the check, yes?

192
00:10:46,994 --> 00:10:48,784
Well, yes.
But how will I recognize you?

193
00:10:48,952 --> 00:10:51,692
Sister, there is no need
for you to recognize me.

194
00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:54,258
I will recognize you.

195
00:10:54,436 --> 00:10:56,216
Goodbye, Sister, and hurry.

196
00:10:56,394 --> 00:10:57,574
Bye.

197
00:10:57,744 --> 00:10:59,274
Do you know
what that means,

198
00:10:59,441 --> 00:11:00,881
señorTomas?

199
00:11:01,051 --> 00:11:02,971
That the Sisters
of the Convent of San Tanco

200
00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:04,790
are supporting me
in my campaign.

201
00:11:04,968 --> 00:11:06,358
Well, what'd he say?

202
00:11:06,535 --> 00:11:09,055
Well, he's giving us
a new check for 5000 dollars.

203
00:11:09,233 --> 00:11:10,413
After what you have heard,

204
00:11:10,582 --> 00:11:12,412
you are still taking
back the typewriter?

205
00:11:12,584 --> 00:11:14,114
Only to go out to
the truck

206
00:11:14,282 --> 00:11:16,332
to get you
another one, Your Honor.

207
00:11:16,501 --> 00:11:18,901
For the next
Governor of Puerto Rico,

208
00:11:19,069 --> 00:11:22,729
only a brand-new
electric typewriter will do.

209
00:11:32,996 --> 00:11:36,036
And, my friends,
I promise you

210
00:11:36,217 --> 00:11:38,437
that if I am elected Mayor,

211
00:11:38,610 --> 00:11:43,830
I promise you that I
will keep my promises.

212
00:11:44,007 --> 00:11:47,137
I will build
a new super highway.

213
00:11:47,315 --> 00:11:49,875
A bridge
connecting the islands.

214
00:11:50,057 --> 00:11:52,057
And a football stadium.

215
00:11:53,451 --> 00:11:54,761
How will you get the money?

216
00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:57,851
By lowering the taxes,
that is how.

217
00:11:58,021 --> 00:12:00,721
Who will pay for all
these improvements?

218
00:12:02,112 --> 00:12:03,422
What is the question?
Oh, yes.

219
00:12:03,592 --> 00:12:05,862
That is
a very good question. Yes.

220
00:12:06,029 --> 00:12:07,339
And I will answer it

221
00:12:07,509 --> 00:12:09,639
in my first
State of the Union message

222
00:12:09,816 --> 00:12:11,466
after I'm elected.

223
00:12:11,643 --> 00:12:13,523
The Sisters.
Tell them about the Sisters.

224
00:12:13,689 --> 00:12:15,339
Yes, yes,
I was just coming to that.

225
00:12:15,517 --> 00:12:18,907
And now, my dear friends,
you will be happy to learn

226
00:12:19,086 --> 00:12:21,956
that I am not only
the candidate of labor,

227
00:12:22,132 --> 00:12:23,662
and of management,

228
00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:27,700
of the working class,
and of the propertied class,

229
00:12:27,877 --> 00:12:31,397
but also of that most sacred
of all institutions,

230
00:12:31,576 --> 00:12:33,316
the church itself.

231
00:12:35,189 --> 00:12:38,059
Yes, the church
as represented

232
00:12:38,235 --> 00:12:41,405
by the Sisters
of the Convent of San Tanco.

233
00:12:41,586 --> 00:12:44,366
Oh, I see
you do not believe me.

234
00:12:44,546 --> 00:12:47,976
Well, what if I were to
tell you that at this moment,

235
00:12:48,158 --> 00:12:52,468
the Sisters are bringing to me
a check of 5000 dollars

236
00:12:52,641 --> 00:12:54,211
in support of my campaign?

237
00:12:54,382 --> 00:12:55,782
[all murmuring]

238
00:12:55,949 --> 00:12:58,909
You would think that
I, honest Juan Hernando,

239
00:12:59,082 --> 00:13:01,132
am stretching the truth.

240
00:13:01,302 --> 00:13:02,872
[chuckles]

241
00:13:03,043 --> 00:13:05,353
Well, then, look,

242
00:13:05,523 --> 00:13:08,963
for the truth
comes marching on.

243
00:13:09,136 --> 00:13:10,526
Excuse me.

244
00:13:12,052 --> 00:13:14,232
Sisters,
I am Juan Hernando

245
00:13:14,402 --> 00:13:15,842
and I am delighted.

246
00:13:16,012 --> 00:13:17,672
Oh, well,
we're glad to see you, too.

247
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:20,320
Come. Come. You must share
the place of honor with me.

248
00:13:20,495 --> 00:13:22,405
Yes, my friends, look,
as I have promised,

249
00:13:22,584 --> 00:13:24,764
these Sisters...
Watch your step, Sisters.

250
00:13:24,934 --> 00:13:27,334
Watch the step.
It is a very high step.

251
00:13:27,502 --> 00:13:30,372
I hope you have thought
of a few well-chosen words

252
00:13:30,548 --> 00:13:32,858
to say to my constituents.

253
00:13:33,029 --> 00:13:34,069
About what?

254
00:13:34,248 --> 00:13:36,508
About me.
Say something nice.

255
00:13:37,991 --> 00:13:39,991
Of course. Yes.

256
00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:41,557
Ahem.

257
00:13:41,733 --> 00:13:43,613
It's a great honor
to be able to tell you

258
00:13:43,779 --> 00:13:46,429
what a kind and generous person
señorHernando is.

259
00:13:46,608 --> 00:13:48,258
And furthermore...
Thank you, Sister.

260
00:13:48,436 --> 00:13:50,736
There, you have heard it
from the horse's mouth.

261
00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:52,567
Forgive me, Sister.

262
00:13:52,744 --> 00:13:54,884
I hope you
will vote accordingly.

263
00:13:55,051 --> 00:13:56,711
You have brought
the check, Sister?

264
00:13:56,879 --> 00:13:58,359
Well,
may-maybe you'd rather wait

265
00:13:58,533 --> 00:14:00,673
until you're finished
with your little meeting.

266
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,020
On the contrary!

267
00:14:02,189 --> 00:14:03,759
I want all my constituents

268
00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:05,410
to witness
our little transaction.

269
00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:06,933
Uh...

270
00:14:07,107 --> 00:14:09,237
I'd like to explain
what happened to it.

271
00:14:09,413 --> 00:14:10,853
What could happen to it

272
00:14:11,024 --> 00:14:13,334
safe and snug
in your little purse?

273
00:14:21,338 --> 00:14:23,728
Intermission time.

274
00:14:23,906 --> 00:14:26,596
And to while away
your waiting hours,

275
00:14:26,778 --> 00:14:29,218
San Rafael's most
distinguished artist

276
00:14:29,390 --> 00:14:30,430
will play for you.

277
00:14:30,608 --> 00:14:32,388
Play, Jose.

278
00:14:36,092 --> 00:14:37,752
Play, Jose.

279
00:14:43,273 --> 00:14:46,843
Sisters, I'd like to
have your ears for a moment.

280
00:14:52,848 --> 00:14:55,418
Sisters, what kind
of a joke is this?

281
00:14:55,590 --> 00:14:57,900
Oh, it was no joke.
Especially trying to find you.

282
00:14:58,071 --> 00:14:59,991
What has happened
to this check?

283
00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:01,900
Well, let me try
to explain to you.

284
00:15:02,075 --> 00:15:03,375
You see,
it fell in the fire

285
00:15:03,554 --> 00:15:05,214
and the signature
burned off.

286
00:15:05,382 --> 00:15:07,082
And, of course,
a check isn't any good

287
00:15:07,254 --> 00:15:08,914
without a signature,
is it, señor?

288
00:15:09,082 --> 00:15:11,392
No, Sister, it is not.
[sniggers]

289
00:15:11,562 --> 00:15:14,742
[Jacqueline] So, if you don't mind,
you can give us a new check.

290
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:18,354
You want me to give you...

291
00:15:18,526 --> 00:15:20,176
In other words, Sisters,

292
00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:22,494
if my mind
is still functioning,

293
00:15:22,660 --> 00:15:26,360
I am going to give you
a check for 5000 dollars?

294
00:15:26,534 --> 00:15:28,104
Thank you very much,
señorHernando.

295
00:15:28,275 --> 00:15:29,795
Thank you so much.
You're welcome.

296
00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:31,582
You'll be remembered
in our prayers.

297
00:15:31,756 --> 00:15:34,016
And I won't forget you.
Never.

298
00:15:34,194 --> 00:15:36,244
If you give us a new check
we'll be running along.

299
00:15:36,413 --> 00:15:38,723
I cannot give you
a new check.

300
00:15:38,894 --> 00:15:39,904
Pardon?

301
00:15:40,069 --> 00:15:41,719
Come, let me explain
to you.

302
00:15:41,897 --> 00:15:44,067
You see, it is not
that I do not want to,

303
00:15:44,247 --> 00:15:45,727
or that you
do not deserve it,

304
00:15:45,901 --> 00:15:48,381
I would not want you
to lose confidence in me.

305
00:15:48,556 --> 00:15:52,556
That would be disastrous,
especially right now.

306
00:15:52,734 --> 00:15:55,044
Just exactly
what do you mean?

307
00:15:55,215 --> 00:15:57,125
What do I mean?
Well, what do I mean?

308
00:15:57,304 --> 00:15:58,704
Yes, what I mean is

309
00:15:58,870 --> 00:16:00,610
I cannot give you
a new check

310
00:16:00,785 --> 00:16:02,345
until the old check
is canceled.

311
00:16:02,526 --> 00:16:04,696
Well, that's practically
canceled right now.

312
00:16:04,876 --> 00:16:07,176
Yes, we could just tear it up.
Right up.

313
00:16:07,357 --> 00:16:09,527
No, no, no. I'm afraid
that would make shambles

314
00:16:09,707 --> 00:16:10,967
of my bookkeeping system,

315
00:16:11,144 --> 00:16:13,584
but we will
work something out.

316
00:16:13,755 --> 00:16:15,755
What I will do
is transfer funds

317
00:16:15,931 --> 00:16:18,721
from my campaign account
to my joint account,

318
00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:20,330
which will take
a little time.

319
00:16:20,501 --> 00:16:21,421
How much time?

320
00:16:21,589 --> 00:16:23,499
A few days.

321
00:16:23,678 --> 00:16:25,248
Until I'm elected Mayor.

322
00:16:25,419 --> 00:16:28,199
At which time,
Sisters, believe me,

323
00:16:28,378 --> 00:16:31,118
I will be writing checks
all over the place.

324
00:16:31,294 --> 00:16:32,774
Thank you very much.

325
00:16:32,948 --> 00:16:35,648
You are very welcome.
And here is your old check.

326
00:16:36,952 --> 00:16:38,042
What'll we do with it?

327
00:16:39,781 --> 00:16:41,441
Let me not keep you
from your duties.

328
00:16:41,609 --> 00:16:43,389
Thank you so much.
Thank you for coming.

329
00:16:43,567 --> 00:16:45,477
And do not worry,
you will hear from me,

330
00:16:45,656 --> 00:16:47,266
I promise.

331
00:16:47,441 --> 00:16:48,571
Goodbye.

332
00:16:59,888 --> 00:17:03,758
Sisters, there is nothing
to be concerned about.

333
00:17:03,935 --> 00:17:06,195
I am certain
that señorHernando

334
00:17:06,373 --> 00:17:07,723
will keep his word.

335
00:17:07,896 --> 00:17:09,896
In fact,
he just telephoned me

336
00:17:10,071 --> 00:17:11,731
a few moments ago,

337
00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:13,210
just before you returned.

338
00:17:13,380 --> 00:17:14,770
He did?
Yes.

339
00:17:14,945 --> 00:17:16,245
He said that he is
on his way

340
00:17:16,425 --> 00:17:17,985
over here right now.

341
00:17:18,166 --> 00:17:19,646
He is?

342
00:17:19,820 --> 00:17:22,080
That's the fastest
transfer of funds in history.

343
00:17:22,258 --> 00:17:24,218
Especially
with banks closed.

344
00:17:24,391 --> 00:17:26,831
He couldn't have been
elected Mayor already?

345
00:17:27,002 --> 00:17:28,262
Well, it's
a very small town.

346
00:17:28,438 --> 00:17:30,918
3500 souls,
260 donkeys.

347
00:17:31,093 --> 00:17:33,883
Well, in any case,
he will be here momentarily.

348
00:17:39,101 --> 00:17:40,671
While we were preparing

349
00:17:40,842 --> 00:17:42,372
for the arrival
ofseñor Hernando,

350
00:17:42,539 --> 00:17:44,019
we were too busy to notice

351
00:17:44,193 --> 00:17:45,543
the arrival
ofseñor Hernando.

352
00:17:45,716 --> 00:17:47,626
Although even
if we had noticed him,

353
00:17:47,805 --> 00:17:49,325
we wouldn't have noticed him.

354
00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:51,113
Does that sound confusing?

355
00:17:51,287 --> 00:17:52,587
It was.

356
00:17:52,767 --> 00:17:54,507
Oh, yes, señorHernando,

357
00:17:54,682 --> 00:17:57,342
we plan to do all sorts
of wonderful things

358
00:17:57,511 --> 00:17:59,601
for the Convent
with your generous donation.

359
00:17:59,774 --> 00:18:01,734
That is why I dropped by,
Reverend Mother,

360
00:18:01,906 --> 00:18:03,686
to see that all was well.

361
00:18:03,865 --> 00:18:06,385
Well, uh,
now that you are here,

362
00:18:06,563 --> 00:18:08,833
I am sure that
everything will be well.

363
00:18:11,002 --> 00:18:12,352
What happened to it?

364
00:18:12,526 --> 00:18:14,916
I thought that
Sister Bertrille explained.

365
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,234
Sister Bertrille?
Who is...?

366
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:18,230
[phone ringing]

367
00:18:18,401 --> 00:18:19,841
Excuse me.

368
00:18:21,056 --> 00:18:22,136
Hello?

369
00:18:22,318 --> 00:18:23,668
Oh, yes, Your Excellency.

370
00:18:23,841 --> 00:18:25,501
Reverend Mother,
have you seen

371
00:18:25,669 --> 00:18:26,929
the San Rafael Herald?

372
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,626
Not recently, no.

373
00:18:28,803 --> 00:18:29,983
Is there something in it

374
00:18:30,152 --> 00:18:31,502
that would be
of interest to me?

375
00:18:31,675 --> 00:18:33,415
Reverend Mother,
my capacity

376
00:18:33,590 --> 00:18:35,380
is strictly advisory.

377
00:18:35,549 --> 00:18:38,329
However,
do you think it's wise

378
00:18:38,508 --> 00:18:40,818
to involve the Convent
in local politics?

379
00:18:40,989 --> 00:18:43,429
Your Excellency,
I-I am not certain

380
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,780
that I know exactly
what you are talking about.

381
00:18:45,950 --> 00:18:48,210
Well, then,
let me read this to you.

382
00:18:48,388 --> 00:18:52,038
"San Tanco Sisters support
Honest Juan Hernando."

383
00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:53,438
What?

384
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:58,184
Honest Juan Hernando
has a reputation

385
00:18:58,354 --> 00:19:00,704
for being
a little less than honest.

386
00:19:00,878 --> 00:19:03,188
Why, that is dreadful.

387
00:19:04,708 --> 00:19:06,058
He is simply an opportunist.

388
00:19:06,232 --> 00:19:08,762
And he'll do almost
anything to get elected.

389
00:19:08,930 --> 00:19:10,930
I only wish you
could see him in action.

390
00:19:12,673 --> 00:19:16,073
Your Excellency,
I am seeing him in action.

391
00:19:16,242 --> 00:19:18,112
And while I don't know
how you,

392
00:19:18,287 --> 00:19:19,847
uh, got involved
with this man,

393
00:19:20,028 --> 00:19:21,598
but my advice is...

394
00:19:21,769 --> 00:19:24,379
Your Excellency, I know exactly
how we got involved.

395
00:19:24,554 --> 00:19:28,214
And I will take care
of this matter immediately.

396
00:19:28,384 --> 00:19:29,994
And thank you,
Your Excellency,

397
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,429
for calling us.
Good day.

398
00:19:33,694 --> 00:19:35,704
SeñorHernando,

399
00:19:36,914 --> 00:19:38,664
we do not want
your check.

400
00:19:38,829 --> 00:19:40,309
You don't?

401
00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:43,663
No. Now I know why
you gave us a donation

402
00:19:43,834 --> 00:19:46,624
of 5000 dollars.
You do?

403
00:19:46,794 --> 00:19:49,064
SeñorHernando, you should be
ashamed of yourself

404
00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:51,191
for what you have done.
What did I do?

405
00:19:51,364 --> 00:19:52,584
That telephone call was

406
00:19:52,756 --> 00:19:54,406
from His Excellency,
the Bishop.

407
00:19:54,584 --> 00:19:56,064
Yes, yes.

408
00:19:56,238 --> 00:19:58,718
It was about you,
SeñorHernando.

409
00:19:58,893 --> 00:20:00,503
He explained everything.

410
00:20:00,677 --> 00:20:02,157
Reverend Mother,
I have committed

411
00:20:02,331 --> 00:20:03,851
a sin or two
in my lifetime, but...

412
00:20:04,028 --> 00:20:05,418
SeñorHernando,
there is one sin

413
00:20:05,595 --> 00:20:07,285
which exceeds
all others in perfidy.

414
00:20:07,467 --> 00:20:08,597
And that is the sin

415
00:20:08,772 --> 00:20:10,472
of attempting
to bribe the church.

416
00:20:10,644 --> 00:20:12,124
SeñorHernando, you are

417
00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:15,038
a self-serving,
heartless, evil man.

418
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:18,264
Reverend Mother!
Good day, señorHernando.

419
00:20:24,571 --> 00:20:26,921
Well, the meat's cooking,
the table's set.

420
00:20:27,095 --> 00:20:28,135
And who was that man?

421
00:20:28,314 --> 00:20:30,104
Why that was
your good, kind,

422
00:20:30,272 --> 00:20:31,622
generous señorHernando.

423
00:20:31,795 --> 00:20:33,535
Oh, no. It wasn't
our good, kind,

424
00:20:33,710 --> 00:20:34,930
generous señorHernando.

425
00:20:35,103 --> 00:20:36,413
It is not?
No.

426
00:20:36,583 --> 00:20:38,243
Our good, kind,
generous SeñorHernando

427
00:20:38,411 --> 00:20:40,061
is a short man
with a mustache.

428
00:20:42,066 --> 00:20:42,976
So, who was that?

429
00:20:43,154 --> 00:20:46,114
That was
my good, kind,

430
00:20:46,288 --> 00:20:48,768
generous señorHernando.

431
00:20:48,943 --> 00:20:51,123
The real one, I presume.

432
00:20:51,293 --> 00:20:54,173
And I just gave him
his 5000 dollars

433
00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:55,950
and a piece of my mind.

434
00:20:56,124 --> 00:20:57,304
[engine starts]

435
00:20:57,473 --> 00:21:00,043
Quickly, Sisters.
Before he leaves.

436
00:21:03,871 --> 00:21:05,871
No apologies,
Sisters, please.

437
00:21:06,047 --> 00:21:08,267
I understand perfectly.

438
00:21:13,707 --> 00:21:15,747
SeñorHernando,
the Sisters

439
00:21:15,926 --> 00:21:18,096
have explained
the misunderstanding?

440
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:20,097
Oh, we would not
have wanted you to leave

441
00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:21,629
under such circumstances.

442
00:21:21,802 --> 00:21:23,932
Why, with a name
as common as mine,

443
00:21:24,108 --> 00:21:25,238
anything can happen.

444
00:21:25,414 --> 00:21:27,114
Then you bear us
no ill will?

445
00:21:27,286 --> 00:21:28,546
Of course not,
Reverend Mother.

446
00:21:28,722 --> 00:21:29,942
Now, if you'll excuse me.

447
00:21:30,114 --> 00:21:31,594
Won't you stay for dinner?

448
00:21:31,768 --> 00:21:33,768
Yes, we have some
fantastic brandied peaches.

449
00:21:33,944 --> 00:21:35,294
90 proof.
And a lovely roast.

450
00:21:35,468 --> 00:21:36,768
Rarely done.
Done rare, Sister.

451
00:21:36,947 --> 00:21:38,247
Thank you,
but I must be going.

452
00:21:38,427 --> 00:21:39,987
[sisters chattering]

453
00:21:40,168 --> 00:21:41,558
Aren't you
forgetting something?

454
00:21:41,735 --> 00:21:43,295
Oh, of course. My hat.

455
00:21:43,476 --> 00:21:45,476
And your check?
No.

456
00:21:45,652 --> 00:21:46,782
I beg your pardon?

457
00:21:46,957 --> 00:21:48,387
The Reverend Mother
was right.

458
00:21:48,568 --> 00:21:50,438
The Reverend Mother was wrong,
whatever she said.

459
00:21:50,613 --> 00:21:53,053
Yes, actually, you do
understand, SeñorHernando,

460
00:21:53,224 --> 00:21:55,754
that I was referring
to another scoundrel.

461
00:21:55,923 --> 00:21:57,933
Another señorHernando.

462
00:21:58,099 --> 00:22:00,879
It does not matter.
You hit on the truth.

463
00:22:01,058 --> 00:22:03,368
My life has been
anything but pure.

464
00:22:03,539 --> 00:22:07,759
I have become wealthy
in ways I am not proud of.

465
00:22:07,935 --> 00:22:09,455
My money's tainted.

466
00:22:09,632 --> 00:22:12,462
Could I ask you
to accept that?

467
00:22:12,635 --> 00:22:15,155
Well, if you happen to run
across any untainted money,

468
00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:17,294
will you keep us in mind?
Sister Bertrille.

469
00:22:17,466 --> 00:22:18,896
I was thinking
of his conscience.

470
00:22:19,076 --> 00:22:22,036
As a matter of fact, yes.
Yes, I have.

471
00:22:22,210 --> 00:22:23,730
Five years ago,

472
00:22:23,907 --> 00:22:25,737
I bought a piece of land,

473
00:22:25,909 --> 00:22:28,869
and sold it a year later
for a handsome profit.

474
00:22:29,043 --> 00:22:31,873
It was a clean,
no monkey-business transaction.

475
00:22:32,046 --> 00:22:35,266
That profit,
I would be glad to donate.

476
00:22:35,441 --> 00:22:36,791
Oh, thank you.

477
00:22:36,964 --> 00:22:39,014
Thank you very much,
señorHernando.

478
00:22:40,707 --> 00:22:44,887
The check
is for 100 dollars.

479
00:22:47,322 --> 00:22:49,502
Thank you.
Thank you.

480
00:22:49,672 --> 00:22:51,282
Thank you.
Thank you.

481
00:22:51,457 --> 00:22:53,937
Not at all.
Good day, and thank you.

482
00:22:54,111 --> 00:22:56,811
God be with you.
Goodbye. Goodbye.

483
00:23:02,903 --> 00:23:04,513
Well, Sisters,

484
00:23:04,687 --> 00:23:06,777
there's a great deal
that can be done

485
00:23:06,950 --> 00:23:08,000
with 100 dollars.

486
00:23:09,649 --> 00:23:11,559
We could always plunge it
into the campaign

487
00:23:11,738 --> 00:23:13,608
against Juan Hernando,
the crook.

488
00:23:20,224 --> 00:23:23,404
But I thought I was
the real Juan Hernando.

489
00:23:23,576 --> 00:23:25,486
I mean,
all my life I have been

490
00:23:25,665 --> 00:23:28,485
the real Juan Hernando.

491
00:23:28,668 --> 00:23:31,108
And now, suddenly,
I am no longer

492
00:23:31,279 --> 00:23:33,589
the real Juan Hernando
anymore.

493
00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:36,760
Certainly not the Juan
who sent us the check.

494
00:23:36,937 --> 00:23:39,417
Well, is-is that my fault?

495
00:23:41,202 --> 00:23:43,942
Why didn't you
tell us the truth?

496
00:23:44,118 --> 00:23:46,118
In front
of my constituents?

497
00:23:46,294 --> 00:23:48,384
I'm a politician,
not a martyr.

498
00:23:48,557 --> 00:23:50,557
You're going to have to
call the newspapers

499
00:23:50,733 --> 00:23:52,563
and tell them it was
a misunderstanding.

500
00:23:52,735 --> 00:23:54,775
Well, it was as much
your misunderstanding

501
00:23:54,955 --> 00:23:56,125
as it was mine.

502
00:23:56,304 --> 00:23:58,524
Why should I be
the only one to suffer?

503
00:24:03,137 --> 00:24:05,047
[inaudible]

504
00:24:09,491 --> 00:24:11,671
We've reached a compromise.

505
00:24:13,756 --> 00:24:15,796
Yes, and so, my friends,

506
00:24:15,976 --> 00:24:18,806
with the help
of the good Sisters here,

507
00:24:18,979 --> 00:24:22,719
we have developed
a marvelous platform.

508
00:24:22,896 --> 00:24:25,066
And so,
I want to promise you,

509
00:24:25,246 --> 00:24:28,156
that if I am elected
Mayor of our fair city,

510
00:24:29,293 --> 00:24:31,473
that I will not

511
00:24:31,644 --> 00:24:33,564
do away
with all of the taxes.

512
00:24:36,257 --> 00:24:38,827
And I promise you also

513
00:24:38,999 --> 00:24:42,609
that you could forget
about the super highway.

514
00:24:44,265 --> 00:24:46,565
And you could forget
about the new bridges

515
00:24:46,746 --> 00:24:48,356
and the stadiums...

516
00:24:48,530 --> 00:24:50,750
SeñorHernando,
un momento,tell us,

517
00:24:50,924 --> 00:24:52,844
just what would you do
if you are elected?

518
00:24:53,013 --> 00:24:56,193
I will go to church
every day of my life

519
00:24:56,364 --> 00:24:58,244
and give thanks

520
00:24:58,409 --> 00:25:01,539
because if I am elected,

521
00:25:01,717 --> 00:25:04,327
I will be
the most surprised man

522
00:25:04,503 --> 00:25:06,073
in all of Puerto Rico.

523
00:25:13,033 --> 00:25:14,903
♪♪

524
00:25:14,953 --> 00:25:19,503
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